Monday, April 2, 2012

Almost a Year

I'm definitely feeling like a maranomi tonight. I'm feeling very nostalgic and missing Carys. It's April. Later this month, we will be celebrating one year since our babies were born.

Celebrating? Is that the right word? It is, because I certainly want to celebrate my babies. It's also painful though. Much of this past year went by in a fog.... like a very long, very emotionally draining dream that, now that I'm more awake, seems very fuzzy at times.

Again, here is the mix of joy and pain I've come to know so well. I'm excited to watch Paxton grow and learn. I'm thankful for my babies. I miss having them both with me and I've been thinking a lot about the short time I had with them both. My heart hurts and longs for Heaven.

Heaven- where I'll be with my daughter and other loved ones, I'll always know peace, and nostalgia doesn't exist.

Even with the painful nostalgia, I know good things are coming and God still has a plan. Pieces are falling into place. I'm preparing to publish my first book, Love isn't Selfish, and I'm working on the second, which is the babies story. We're also working toward 501(c)3 status for The Carys Rainn Foundation (more information to come). I know Carys was given to us for a purpose. God always has a plan.

1 comment:

Holly said...

I know God is going to do great things with the legacy of Carys. I'm sure though as the birthday approaches things might get tough.

Thanks for the comment to add her to the April list. I actually meant to add her the other day but then got pulled away from the computer for the girls and didn't get a chance to finish so the comment was a good reminder for me to get it done!