It's been a blessing today to get lots of messages and tags in posts, with people acknowledging Carys. THANK YOU. My day has been non-stop so I didn't even get to really respond to all of them, but they have been very appreciated (and I've most certainly remembered your babies too!!)
This evening, I attended the Remembrance Day balloon release and candle lighting ceremony at Central Park. My dad shared a few words and I was blessed. I am truly thankful for the promise of Heaven. I'm thankful that we don't really "lose" someone when we know where they are.
One moment I wanted to especially share was seeing my siblings walk up to the group with my nephews. Mason, my 6 year old nephew ran out in front of them, holding up a single red rose that he'd taken from his mom's rose bush. He had a huge grin on his face. As he handed me the rose, he said with a very pleased look, "This is for Carys!" My brother let me know it was Mason's idea - he'd wanted to bring me something.
Of course, tears instantly sprang to my eyes, but it was a good thing. She really was here.... and people recognize that.
I've said many times that it seems like I just glossed over an entire year or more. I was in such a fog that it seems now like a long, emotionally draining dream. I know I was there for 2011, but many of my memories are hazy. It's so strange.
Now though, I have pictures and mementos. Her little hand and feet prints, the outfit she wore. Sympathy cards. Best of all, I have a real memory of a baby girl that made her mark on the world in a big way but a short amount of time. A couple of nights ago, I was told "She preached a sermon!" Today, even my 6 year old nephew acknowledged that she really was here. I didn't just dream that she existed.
She was here; and now... she's in Heaven where I am just waiting to see her again.