Sunday, February 17, 2013

How Carys Changed my Prayer Life

I've said many times that I used to feel like telling someone I would be praying for them sounded empty. It would seem like I wasn't really doing anything. I always believed there is power in prayer, but I didn't always feeling like my prayers were powerful, I guess.

After Carys' diagnosis, I craved knowing people were praying for us; even after God told me, "no" to my request that she be made whole. I didn't need people to pray she'd be made whole (God assured me that it wasn't His plan and I knew I had to accept that), but I needed people to pray for strength and comfort for us. I know God was taking care of us anyway, but it seemed that we'd always hear, "We've been praying for you!" at times we'd felt the peace and comfort the most.

I always believed in prayer, but hadn't found a resolve in my thoughts when it came to the idea that, "if you pray hard enough, you'll be healed," or if you weren't healed, "you must not have had enough faith." That never had seemed right to me, but in the midst of our storm, I came to a much more confident, secure place in my faith as it pertained to healing.

God had created her. He formed her, as no human could ever successfully have done without Him. He created her. There was no doubt in my mind that He could form her skull and develop her brain in an instant. I believed and believe that He was capable. Even after her diagnosis was confirmed, I wouldn't have been surprised if He'd chosen to do so. But, I also knew that earthly wholeness is not always in God's plan. I trusted Him to take care of us, even when it hurts.

I have a harder time praying for life now. I find myself praying more for eternal preparedness, comfort, and peace, with whatever the outcome may be. He knows better than I do. Who am I to make a request on someone else's behalf that may rob them of something beautiful God had intended to create through their pain? I pray they feel His love; that they are open to His peace. Receptive to His plans.

God knows what He's doing. I don't need to tell Him how to be God. I can make my gift requests for others, but I can much more easily pray, "Your will be done."  I'm continually learning to trust Him to give us a glimpse of beautiful through the storms. He's got this.

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