Monday, October 15, 2012

Babies on my mind...

I've had babies on my brain today... but not how that phrase is usually intended. It was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I've been thinking of all the beautiful stories of babies who are already in Heaven. Each tiny baby with such huge purpose.

It's been a blessing today to get lots of messages and tags in posts, with people acknowledging Carys. THANK YOU. My day has been non-stop so I didn't even get to really respond to all of them, but they have been very appreciated (and I've most certainly remembered your babies too!!)

This evening, I attended the Remembrance Day balloon release and candle lighting ceremony at Central Park. My dad shared a few words and I was blessed. I am truly thankful for the promise of Heaven. I'm thankful that we don't really "lose" someone when we know where they are.

One moment I wanted to especially share was seeing my siblings walk up to the group with my nephews. Mason, my 6 year old nephew ran out in front of them, holding up a single red rose that he'd taken from his mom's rose bush. He had a huge grin on his face. As he handed me the rose, he said with a very pleased look, "This is for Carys!" My brother let me know it was Mason's idea - he'd wanted to bring me something.

Of course, tears instantly sprang to my eyes, but it was a good thing. She really was here.... and people recognize that.

I've said many times that it seems like I just glossed over an entire year or more. I was in such a fog that it seems now like a long, emotionally draining dream. I know I was there for 2011, but many of my memories are hazy. It's so strange.

Now though, I have pictures and mementos. Her little hand and feet prints, the outfit she wore. Sympathy cards. Best of all, I have a real memory of a baby girl that made her mark on the world in a big way but a short amount of time. A couple of nights ago, I was told "She preached a sermon!" Today, even my 6 year old nephew acknowledged that she really was here. I didn't just dream that she existed.
She was here; and now... she's in Heaven where I am just waiting to see her again.

1 comment:

Birthday Buddy said...

I love you and pray continually for you. This was beautiful and so was she.