Sunday, May 13, 2018

Thinking much this mother's day about how it will never NOT be bittersweet. I've seen so many posts today about mothers who have passed away and about babies who didn't get to stay. I'm missing my girl.

At the same time, I'm so incredibly thankful to have these wild boys of mine. They melt me.

The big boys got it in their heads today that if they dressed exactly alike (down to matching socks and shoes), wore their hair alike, practiced making their voices sound like each other, and if Keegan made himself look taller and Paxton made himself look shorter... they could trick people into thinking they were each other.

They giggled off and on all the way to church, thinking they were going to swap classes and trick people. They bring me joy. When I'm exhausted from the baby not sleeping well, or not wanting to stay with anyone but me.... that sweet little face is still such a blessing.

They exhaust me, they frustrate me, they make me laugh ... they bring me joy. There will always be one little girl missing this side of Heaven.

I'm thankful for the bittersweet though. Both sides of it. I'd rather have had her for the brief time I did than not at all.

From the beginning, it's been bittersweet. I recently saw a post prompting people to share about their first mother's day.

Mine? I was home. I had one baby at the cemetery and one in NICU.

Even so, I'm thankful I can focus on the sweet and appreciate the bitter.
I know that God always has a loving plan... He ALWAYS has something incredible to teach us when we're not too focused on the bitter to see the sweet.

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