Joy's the Word

Last December, I first heard of www.myoneword.com. The premise of the website is to choose a one-word theme for the year instead of setting the typical New Year’s resolutions. I loved the idea of choosing one word and really dwelling on it to allow God to reveal some truth through it. 

Because of my circumstances, I chose the word JOY. It may seem strange that in the circumstances as they were I chose joy, but I had a very intentional purpose in it. From the time of Carys’ fatal diagnosis in December, I knew the remainder of the pregnancy and the time that followed would be bittersweet. I knew I was going to have one healthy baby and one baby that wouldn’t be able to survive after birth. I also knew I was going to have to find a way to discover joy in the midst of sorrow, and I trusted that God would provide that joy.

In Psalm 30:11 (NIV), King David wrote,  “11 You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy…” I’ve learned first-hand that God can do that. He can take our brokenness and turn it into something beautiful. Our suffering can be the source of great joy.

This year has certainly been one of heartache and suffering for my family and me. I’ve never been more broken, beaten down, or utterly weary. At the same time, I’ve never experienced the degree of peace that I have during what would seem to be the worst of moments. However, I can’t truly say this year has been horrible because we’ve had some very amazing things happen along with the painful things. Bittersweet is a word I’ve often used, but it’s also been a year of extremes. The “bad” things have been unbelievably horrid…. But the good? Wow. We have the joy of watching all of Paxton’s firsts while we experience the sorrow of missing Carys. We’ve learned so much about God’s love and the peace of Heaven. We learned more about what is important and what is insignificant. We chose to trust rather than become bitter, and we’ve grown in the joy of a total trust in the Heavenly Father. We’ve worn the sackcloth, but we’ve also been clothed in joy. We’ve also learned that without the sackcloth, we wouldn’t have the ability to experience joy to the same magnificent degree. Circumstances don’t determine our joy; choosing to trust the loving Creator with our circumstances, however, does.