It seems strange to not be in Sunrise Service, but I can assure you, I'm feeling revived and blessed. We have more to look forward to in Heaven today and it feels so close and so real. We're so thankful for all the prayers and support. We may have lost our baby girl from this world, but we haven't lost her; we know exactly where she is! The time we were given to spend with her was so much more than we could have even expected... in length and so much more. She was so perfectly created by God's design, and His presence and peace were so strong while we enjoyed our time with her. Though we miss our daughter, we are so grateful for the impact she has had on those around her, for the presence of her precious brother, and for the work God is doing in our lives through them both. We are so very blessed!
The last couple of days I've felt sad and down, even though I still had a sense of peace while missing Carys. Last night, Aaron was reading from the Easter story and was wondering aloud about the significance of Jesus' words to Peter, James, and John in the garden of Gethsemene.
"40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Matthew 26:40-41
How easy it is to fall asleep! Physically, I'm tired and sore from the surgery. Resting in the hospital isn't exactly easy. I KNOW I am more prone to give in to sadness when I'm feeling weak physically. It's a human nature issue. "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." How significant is that to me right now? My spirit wants to rejoice in the miracle we've experienced this week. It can be a challenge to not let my flesh stand in the way.
Thankfully, this prompted a discussion about Thursday's events and how amazing our little miracles are. I've asked Aaron that when I start feeling down and missing Carys, he help me focus on the joy of the miracle that she has been to us. Every time I talk about her or hear someone say how she has impacted their lives, I feel a renewed joy. THAT is what I want to focus on. This is not a sad event. She's not sitting around waiting in Heaven, missing her mommy. To her, there is no such thing as time. She's in the arms of the Father and she's not in any hurry. I may miss her, but I can choose to focus on the joy! My baby girl is safe and has never known anything other than overwhelming Love. What more could a mom ask for?!
So, this morning, my flesh may be weak, but my spirit is rejoicing. We have so much more today to look forward to in Heaven! Praise God, Christ arose!!!!!
** Please visit Carys' Memorial Page and let us know if she has had an impact on your life in some way!! **
2 comments:
Keri, you remind me very much of myself in those early days. I haven't come across many people who have been so joyful at a time that can tear you apart. I have had sad moments and terrible missing but many more moments of joy about my baby girl and our journey. Thank you for your words. Our flesh is weak but we have a God that is bigger and stronger than anything we experience.
I was the same way in the early days as well and am renewed with your words. Thank you.
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